"Well sometimes my life just don’t make sense at all.
When the mountains look so big, and my faith just seems so small.
Hold me Jesus; I’m shaking like a leaf. You have been my King of Glory, won’t you be my Prince of Peace?"
That’s one of my favorites from my most alltime favorite artist: the highly talented and annointed Rich Mullins whom I miss dearly. (Still can’t believe I was blessed with seeing his concert and meeting him before he left to be with Jesus.)
It plays over in my head a lot of days, but especially lately. I’ve had some ups and downs the past week as usual, but they just seemed soooo far up then soooo far down. Ever feel that way?
Mid week I got the rest of the paperwork for our house,barn and land dropped off at the new bank to the fabulous "Susan", said a little prayer, and tucked that anxiety on a backshelf to twirl and spin on it’s own until we hear back from them. Then onto Friday morning, when I had commited to a work friend to start working out at a gym in town at 6am before work. I only work Tues and Thurs, but decided I could commit that early morning hour when the kids are sleeping anyway (and my sil is home now everyday anyway after retiring). The workout was great! I love going to the gym, and just have to get over the feeling of selfishness for doing something for myself and taking time away from the kids. Problem there is that I did TWO things for myself, and in one day even…I went to Praise Band practice Friday night !!
I have been called so many times to use my talents in different places, but for many reasons, (infants, time constraints, etc.) have never joined a Praise Band (well, except my brothers’ O’Brien Ministries during my college years). I have only sat and dreamed of sharing my passion,talents and music, while tapping my foot and singing my praises from my own seat. Well, our new church is so fabulous and I feel I’m finally "home". So I did it! I sang and even sat in to play the drums in the absence of the regular drummer. (Not so great, ok, well I was HORRIBLE, and I sure needed some practice, but well, I tried!) And what a blessing that our closing song this week was none other than "Hold me Jesus"! Maybe next week I’ll be able take my keyboard and really get into it, and join them for the service.
"Surrender don’t come natural to me. I’d rather fight you for something I don’t really want than take what you give that I need. And I beat my head against so many walls, now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees…." certainly rang true and I sang that part with tears in my eyes…. I’m so looking forward to getting my keyboard there this week! YAY!
So in between early morning gym and evening Praise Band practice, our family went to Mary’s Welcome Home Barnyard Sanctuary and picked up our ponies to bring home! The girls were so excited…and they are so cute running around in the big pasture!! They will be able to saddle them up and work with them every day now! I reassured Mary we’d still come visit the Barnyard, as we love her and all the fabulous goats and sheep,cows,donkeys, horses, chickens,ducks,turkeys, pigeons,rabbits, pigs and Tatonka the buffalo that reside at her haven.
So the end of the week my tornado inside drastically switched directions as I am dealing with the terminal illness of my dear Aunt Peggy. So many emotions and thoughts as she is struggling with cancer. My Mom flew into Arizona to spend some time with her as we’ve been told it’s only a matter of weeks. She’s such an awesome person, a sweet loving Christian woman, fabulous school teacher, and amazing wife and mother. When my brothers and I were young we would go to visit our cousins in New Mexico each summer, and they would come spend Thanksgiving time with us. So many wonderful memories that stir up so much deep and wide emotion inside. I know there’s no way I can make a trip to AZ right now, but I’m so thankful my Mom can be with her little sister. They are so close and I am praying that the time she has left is precious and annointed for all, and that God will wrap his arms around and hold them tightly.
"Hold her, Jesus, she’s shaking like a leaf. Please be her King of Glory, please be her Prince of Peace."
Sunday we went to our awesome church, them attended a "new members" class Sun night. It is so awesome to find such a great place to call home!! Monday we did school like crazy, then went to a dentist appt for Morgan in the afternoon to find out they had cancelled her appt. because they had left a message on my cell phone Friday afternoon to call back by, well, Friday afternoon (they gave me about an hour to respond, and of course I didn’t get my message until Friday evening…) and told me "sorry, that’s just the doctor’s rules". It was really ok, though, because I was very uneasy about this dentist anyway. Just God looking out for us.
Then on to 4-H Monday night which meets at…you guessed it, the Cowboy church. (Feeling like I just moved in by now…LOL) Since our club is "the horse club", and it’s warming up, several had brought their horses to ride. Many of the youth also practice roping on Mon nights I learned. The girls had a wonderful time with friends, and are looking forward to bringing their ponies to ride once we eventually get our own trailer to transport them. We are really excited to watch the church’s "playday" this Sunday and the girls can learn what they can do with those ponies, and eventually be able to join the other kids for playday.
That’s a bit about our crazy, crazy week, and that hurricane spinning and turning in a hundred directions! Throw in my two days playing doctor…surgeries, dealing with chronic illnesses…passionate owners, old pets, cute puppies, bone pins, emergency c-sections, and you’ve got one heck of a steam engine switching tracks!
Today we are heading to Aransas for choir and band, and I’m looking forward to seeing my homeschool-mom friends today.
Somewhere in there I have a couple of TOS reviews to write…hmmm…