So I’ve been thinking a lot about where we’ve been and where we might be a year from now. This time of year I guess kind of leads me to evaluate and reorganize my priorities as well as Thank the Lord for bringing me to where I am today, as well as where we are as a family.
I’ve been listening to a song by Casting Crowns that has really meant a lot to me lately called "Praise You In This Storm." My quiet times are often accompanied by music, lyrics, thoughts and ideas of such, sometimes my own, sometimes those of others. Sometimes with my keyboard, sometimes just my voice, sometimes only silence on the outside.
This song has particularly spoken to me as my family is going into the fourth month of living under the roof of relatives, with most of our stuff packed into a storage container unable to be retrieved until we find a place of our own. I wore a heavy coat of dread as we entered this situation, and just laughed under my breath as I was reassured that "this will be fun, stay as long as you want to save money, we’ll love having you here, etc." All the time knowing somedays it’s hard for me, the "Supermom" that I am, to keep up with three active kids, little-loan people who have never had kids and their messes and noise surrounding them.
So as I’m playing double duty now trying to cook for a crowd, clean up after a crowd, keep the kids things picked up and out of the way, but maintain some kind of a life for my kids to enjoy and be able to still be kids, I have been feeling a huge burden/strain/storm brewing. In this situation, it sure is easy to ask "Why? When? Where? Will we ever be able to move on, to settle, to spread out and not have to keep our dogs in cages and our kitty locked up in one little room? God? Hellloooooo???? Are YOU STILL THERE??? GOD????
I don’t ever want to appear ungrateful, but at times I just want to go home. Home. There it is again, that place. So I’m back to evaluating HOME. A place where one can be comfortable, let your hair down, and be at peace, lay down your burdens and just be you, a family, a place to pray and sing loud and dance out of control.
I miss home. So as I was feeling this storm, I began to meditate and pray to God to just help me know He’s here in this place that is not my home as much as anywhere. And there is no place on Earth that is truly home, anyway.
So these words have comforted and healed and given me hope to carry on without a shelter, until it stops raining. He can be that shelter in my storm. Thanks Casting Crowns, you are awesome. I know this song was written under different circumstances, but sure is a ministry in so many other ways.
So where were we last year, and the years before? well, again, in the midst of a different storm.
As my family was in the eye of this storm, and as I still have very many close friends whom I pray for daily, may we never forget for a minute the sacrifice of our men, women, and their precious families who endure it still:
So, God, may I always remember that You are who You are, no matter where I am.
Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I’m with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You?
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth